YOU WANT TO SAY
“I’m hot.”
“Estoy caliente.” = “I’m horny.” 💀
At a family dinner. To your mother-in-law. The Gringo Traductor has left the building.
✅ DI ESTO EN VEZ
Tengo calor. (TEHN-goh kah-LOHR) — I’m hot.
A0 · Your first real Spanish
Stop Using Google Translate
Learn the full phrases that help you greet people, order food, ask for help, and survive a real conversation—without translating every word.
Choose your lesson
Start at zero or jump directly to the lesson you need.
Guardar y compartir
A0
LECCIÓN 0 · START HERE
👋 Welcome, asere
You are not here to memorize a dictionary. You are here to survive your first real conversations in Spanish—without a translator.
HOOK
The translator is your crutch. Today, you walk.
🎥 Video de bienvenida — coming soon
Abraham will film the welcome here. You can start the interactive course now.
APRENDE
How this course works
1 · TAP
Reveal the lesson
Make a guess first. Then tap to compare with the model.
2 · SPEAK
Say it out loud
Your mouth needs practice—not just your eyes. Repeat every Spanish phrase.
3 · USE
Do the mission
Record the voice-note mission at the end. Speaking is the finish line.
PRACTICA
Your first two lines
¡Hola!(OH-lah)Hello!
¡Dale!(DAH-leh)Let’s go!
🗣️
Say it with energy:
“¡Hola! ¡Dale!” — “Hello! Let’s go!”
“¡Hola! ¡Dale!” — “Hello! Let’s go!”
MISIÓN
🎯 TRY IT
Make one promise out loud
Say: “I will speak before I tap.” Then enter Lesson 1 and meet the Gringo Traductor.
5 fails
LECCIÓN 1 · MEET THE VILLAIN
🤖 Why Your Translator Betrays You
Ever used Google Translate and accidentally said something embarrassing? Yeah… let’s make sure it never happens again. The Gringo Traductor translates WORDS, not intention. No culture. No context.
THE GRINGO TRADUCTOR STRIKES
Five fails. Two taps each. Say the fix out loud.
YOU WANT TO SAY
“I’m embarrassed.”
“Estoy embarazada.” = “I’m pregnant.”
You just announced a pregnancy that doesn’t exist. Congratulations.
✅ DI ESTO EN VEZ
Me da vergüenza. (meh dah vehr-GWEHN-sah) — I’m embarrassed.
A CUBAN SAYS
“¡Qué bola, asere!”
(keh BOH-lah ah-SEH-reh)The translator says: “What ball!”
The translator gave up. Honestly? Fair.
✅ DON’T TRANSLATE IT
It means “What’s up, dude!” Some things aren’t translated—they’re LIVED.
YOU WANT TO SAY
“I’m excited.”
“Estoy excitado.”
You just told the whole room you’re turned on. Felicidades.
✅ DI ESTO EN VEZ
Estoy emocionado. (ehs-TOY eh-moh-syoh-NAH-doh) — I’m excited.
YOU WANT TO SAY
“I’m 30 years old.”
“Yo soy 30 años.” — WRONG.
The English structure walked straight into Spanish wearing a fake mustache.
✅ DI ESTO EN VEZ
Tengo 30 años. — In Spanish you HAVE your age, you don’t SAY it.
THE PATTERN
Words are not intention
The translator translates words. Surviving in a language is intention + context.
That’s why we’re breaking up with the Gringo Traductor—starting now. Learn complete phrases inside a real situation. That is how you stop sounding robotic.
PRACTICA
Choose the human answer
The room is warm. What do you say?
You can’t wait for your trip. What do you say?
MISIÓN
🎯 TRY IT
Your turn—what’s YOUR worst translator fail? 😅🔥
Tell the story out loud. Then repeat the correct Spanish phrase one more time so your mouth remembers the human version.
Greetings
LECCIÓN 2 · FIRST CONTACT
👋 Say Hi Like a Human
Before you survive, you greet. Say each line OUT LOUD—your mouth needs practice, not just your eyes.
HOOK
Pick the greeting that fits the moment
It’s 9:00 AM. What do you say?
You leave a friend and expect to see them again. What sounds casual?
APRENDE
Greetings by time
Hola(OH-lah)Hello. Works always.
Buenos días(bweh-nohs DEE-ahs)Good morning. Until noon.
Buenas tardes(bweh-nahs TAHR-dehs)Good afternoon. Noon to about 8 PM.
Buenas noches(bweh-nahs NOH-chehs)Good evening / good night. At night.
Adiós(ah-DYOHS)Goodbye. Formal, final.
Hasta luego(AH-stah loo-EH-goh)See you later.
Nos vemos(nohs VEH-mohs)See ya. Casual.
Introduce yourself
Me llamo ___(meh YAH-moh)My name is ___.
Soy ___(soy)I’m ___.
Soy de ___(soy deh)I’m from ___.
Mucho gusto(MOO-choh GOOS-toh)Nice to meet you.
¿Cómo estás?(KOH-moh ehs-TAHS)How are you?
Bien, gracias. ¿Y tú?(bee-EHN grah-SYAHS · ee TOO)Good, thanks. And you?
PRACTICA
Read the mini-dialogue out loud
A
¡Hola! Buenos días. Me llamo Abraham. Soy de Cuba. ¿Y tú?Hello! Good morning. My name is Abraham. I’m from Cuba. And you?
S
Hola, me llamo Sarah. Soy de Texas. Mucho gusto.Hello, my name is Sarah. I’m from Texas. Nice to meet you.
A
¡Mucho gusto! Nos vemos.Nice to meet you! See ya.
🗣️
Switch roles. Read it once as Abraham and once as Sarah. Then replace the name and place with your own.
MISIÓN
🎯 TRY IT · 15 seconds
Introduce yourself
Record a voice note: your name, where you’re from, mucho gusto (MOO-choh GOOS-toh) — nice to meet you. That’s more real Spanish than a month of staring at vocabulary lists.
Restaurant
LECCIÓN 3 · RESTAURANT MODE
🍽️ Order Food Without Panic
You’re hungry. The waiter is coming. No translator. These full phrases get food on the table.
HOOK
Your six restaurant lifelines
La carta, por favor(lah KAHR-tah pohr fah-VOHR)The menu, please.
Quiero…(KYEH-roh)I want… “Quiero el pollo.” — I want the chicken.
Para mí…(PAH-rah MEE)For me… “Para mí, el pescado.” — For me, the fish.
La cuenta, por favor(lah KWEHN-tah pohr fah-VOHR)The check, please.
¿Cuánto cuesta?(KWAHN-toh KWEHS-tah)How much is it?
¿Cuánto es?(KWAHN-toh ehs)How much? (the check)
APRENDE
Food inside a sentence
Quiero agua.(KYEH-roh AH-gwah)I want water.
Quiero café.(KYEH-roh kah-FEH)I want coffee.
Quiero jugo.(KYEH-roh HOO-goh)I want juice.
Quiero cerveza.(KYEH-roh sehr-VEH-sah)I want beer. 🍺
Quiero el pollo.(KYEH-roh ehl POH-yoh)I want the chicken.
Quiero el arroz.(KYEH-roh ehl ahr-ROHS)I want the rice.
📌 ASERE NOTE¡Qué rico! (keh REE-koh) — So tasty! Use it as your natural reaction when the food arrives.
Numbers 1–10 · tap to reveal
🗣️
Drill: tap and say 1→10. Then say them backwards 10→1 before you tap.
PRACTICA
Restaurant role-play
A
Buenas noches. La carta, por favor.Good evening. The menu, please.
B
¿Qué quiere?What would you like?
A
Quiero el pollo con arroz. Y agua, por favor.I want chicken with rice. And water, please.
B
¿Algo más?Anything else?
A
No, gracias. La cuenta, por favor.No, thanks. The check, please.
B
Son doce dólares.It’s twelve dollars.
A
¡Qué rico todo! Gracias.Everything is so tasty! Thank you.
🎭
Role-play: you order. Abraham is the waiter. Then switch—make Abraham order.
MISIÓN
🎯 TRY IT
Order your favorite meal
Do the full dialogue out loud, both roles. If you can do it alone in your kitchen, you can do it at a restaurant. ¡Dale!
Directions
LECCIÓN 4 · CONTROL THE CONVERSATION
🗺️ Never Get Lost Again
Lost in a new city. Phone dead. These phrases become your map and buy you time.
HOOK
When you don’t understand—zero shame
No entiendo(noh ehn-TYEHN-doh)I don’t understand.
No sé(noh SEH)I don’t know.
¿Puedes repetir, por favor?(PWEH-dehs reh-peh-TEER)Can you repeat, please?
Más despacio, por favor(mahs dehs-PAH-syoh pohr fah-VOHR)Slower, please.
¿Hablas inglés?(AH-blahs een-GLEHS)Do you speak English? Last resort—no shame.
APRENDE
Directions in complete phrases
¿Dónde está…?(DOHN-deh ehs-TAH)Where is…?
¿Dónde está el baño?(DOHN-deh ehs-TAH ehl BAH-nyoh)Where is the bathroom? The most important phrase in the language.
A la izquierda(ah lah ees-KYEHR-dah)To the left.
A la derecha(ah lah deh-REH-chah)To the right.
Todo derecho(TOH-doh deh-REH-choh)Straight ahead.
Está aquí / Está allí(ehs-TAH ah-KEE / ehs-TAH ah-YEE)It’s here / It’s there.
Social magic
Gracias(GRAH-syahs)Thanks.
De nada(deh NAH-dah)You’re welcome.
Perdón(pehr-DOHN)Sorry / excuse me.
Con permiso(kohn pehr-MEE-soh)Excuse me, to get past.
📌 ASERE NOTE · THE TRICKWith ¿Puedes repetir? (PWEH-dehs reh-peh-TEER) — Can you repeat? + Más despacio (mahs dehs-PAH-syoh) — Slower, you control ANY conversation.
PRACTICA
The lost-person dialogue
A
Perdón, ¿dónde está el baño?Excuse me, where is the bathroom?
B
Todo derecho y a la izquierda.Straight ahead and to the left.
A
¿Puedes repetir, por favor? Más despacio.Can you repeat, please? Slower.
B
Todo… derecho… y a la izquierda.Straight… ahead… and to the left.
A
¡Gracias!Thank you!
B
De nada.You’re welcome.
MISIÓN
🎯 TRY IT
Ask for the bathroom
Ask out loud. Then ask the person to repeat more slowly. Do the full exchange twice—once calm, once like you need the bathroom NOW.
Asere Method
LECCIÓN 5 · SPEAK IN CHUNKS
🛟 5 Chunks That Save You
Not vocabulary lists. Five complete shortcuts natives use all the time. Reveal each one, then say it with attitude.
HOOK
The Asere Method
Learn the phrase your mouth needs—not the isolated word your translator gives you.
A chunk lets you react now and understand the structure later.
APRENDE
Tap, reveal, say it
CHUNK 1 · BUY TIME
Lo que pasa es que…
(loh keh PAH-sah ehs keh) — The thing is…Lo que pasa es que no tengo carro. (loh keh PAH-sah ehs keh noh TEHN-goh KAH-rroh) — The thing is, I don’t have a car.
It buys you time and makes the explanation sound natural.
CHUNK 2 · SECRET WEAPON
¿Cómo se dice…?
(KOH-moh seh DEE-seh) — How do you say…?¿Cómo se dice “awkward”? (KOH-moh seh DEE-seh) — How do you say “awkward”?
Ask IN Spanish. Never leave the conversation because of one missing word.
CHUNK 3 · FIX IT MID-SENTENCE
O sea…
(oh seh-AH) — I mean…Ayer fui… o sea, anteayer fui al mercado. (ah-YEHR fwee · oh seh-AH · ahn-teh-ah-YEHR fwee ahl mehr-KAH-doh) — Yesterday I went… I mean, the day before yesterday I went to the market.
You can repair the sentence without panicking.
CHUNK 4 · REACT LIKE A HUMAN
¡Qué + adjective!
(keh) — How / so…!¡Qué rico! (keh REE-koh) — So tasty!
¡Qué lindo! (keh LEEN-doh) — So pretty!
¡Qué chévere! (keh CHEH-veh-reh) — So cool!
CHUNK 5 · SAY NO WITH FLAVOR
Ni loco
(nee LOH-koh) — No way.“Gym at 5 AM?” — Ni loco. (nee LOH-koh) — No way.
Short. Natural. A little dramatic. Perfect.
PRACTICA
Choose the chunk
You forget one word but want to stay in Spanish.
You started with the wrong day and need to repair the sentence.
MISIÓN
🎯 TRY IT · 20 seconds
Use all five chunks
Make up one tiny story and fit all five chunks into one voice note. It can be ridiculous. The mouth practice is what counts.
Capstone
LECCIÓN 6 · BOSS LEVEL
🎯 Mission: No Translator
Five real situations. Answer OUT LOUD before you reveal the model. Tap the check only after your mouth does the work.
HOOK
Rules of the mission
1. Read the situation. 2. Speak before you tap. 3. Compare with the model. 4. Mark it complete.
APRENDE
Your survival kit is already in your mouth
Greet
Open the conversation.
Ask
Get what you need.
Control
Slow the conversation down.
PRACTICA
Five situations. No translator.
SITUATION 1
You walk into a restaurant. The waiter greets you.
Answer out loud first.
Buenas noches. La carta, por favor. (bweh-nahs NOH-chehs · lah KAHR-tah pohr fah-VOHR) — Good evening. The menu, please.
SITUATION 2
You meet someone new.
Answer out loud first.
Hola, me llamo ___. Soy de ___. Mucho gusto. (OH-lah · meh YAH-moh · soy deh · MOO-choh GOOS-toh) — Hello, my name is ___. I’m from ___. Nice to meet you.
SITUATION 3
The waiter spoke fast. You understood nothing.
Answer out loud first.
¿Puedes repetir, por favor? Más despacio. (PWEH-dehs reh-peh-TEER · mahs dehs-PAH-syoh) — Can you repeat, please? Slower.
SITUATION 4
You taste grandma’s flan.
Answer out loud first.
¡Qué rico! (keh REE-koh) — So tasty!
SITUATION 5
You need the bathroom NOW.
Answer out loud first.
Perdón, ¿dónde está el baño? (pehr-DOHN · DOHN-deh ehs-TAH ehl BAH-nyoh) — Excuse me, where is the bathroom?
¡Sobreviviste! 🏆
MISIÓN
🎙️ HOMEWORK · 30 seconds
Five phrases. One voice note.
Record yourself using at least five survival phrases. No reading after the first practice round. The ones who dare are the ones who level up. ¡DALE!
Finish
LECCIÓN 7 · LOOK WHAT YOU DID
🚀 What Comes Next
The translator was your crutch. You just walked without it.
HOOK
You already survive
YOU CAN
Greet
Start and end a real exchange.
YOU CAN
Order
Get food, ask the price, and request the check.
YOU CAN
Ask for help
Find a place and slow the conversation down.
APRENDE
Surviving is not the same as sounding human
In Stop Sounding Like Dora (A1), you’ll give opinions, joke, and tell stories like a native—not like a textbook.
PRACTICA
One last victory lap
🗣️
Say three things without looking: one greeting, one restaurant phrase, and one phrase that buys you time.
MISIÓN
🎯 FINAL MOVE
Use one phrase with a real person today
Not tomorrow. Today. One greeting counts. One reaction counts. Real Spanish starts when another person hears it. ¡DALE!